by Judith Stubbs, L.H.
copyright 1997
Note: Although this article covers what one can do at the end of a school term, it contains many ideas that can be helpful at any time of the year.
IntroductionAs an educational therapist in private practice and the mother of an ADHD child, I know first hand how serious things can be at school and home this time of the year. This is the time of year things start falling apart for ADD students and their families. In my practice, I do liaison work to try to keep families and teachers/districts talking to each other in a civilized manner. This is not easy!! Why does it all seem to be so much worse in the late spring? What leads up to this terrible situation? In this article, I hope to help you through this time by analyzing what happens and give some practical advice to prevent this next year.
Why is it Getting Worse? How Does This Happen?
By this time in the school year, teachers and students are getting on each others' nerves, Teachers' fuses are shorter as students push their limits. Small, but constant or repetitious annoying behaviors that were tolerated during the year seem to make adults or peers react more negatively now. People seem to have just had it with ADD students. Why can't they ever get anything turned in on time? Why does it take so long to start? Their constant interruptions are so annoying! And why the heck can't they just sit down and stay there for one whole period?!? Deep down, I believe most teachers and parents think that their student (son or daughter) will finally "get it" and the behavior will start to change. When this doesn't happen, they feel more frustrated and even angry, as they don't know what to try next. By this time, the student has been reprimanded, criticized, has failed in academics and/or in social situations, and is fast losing his self-esteem. His/her attitude is probably going downhill, as well.
What Can You Do Right Now?No this is not another one of those lectures about having family meetings, going to meetings and counseling, etc, etc, etc. Instead, here are some immediate, realistic suggestions to help you deal with the frustration of the situation.Remember to breathe, count to 10 (well, maybe 5) before you act. Talk briefly to your child about his/her attitude & try to use the "I" messages. Believe me, I know how tempting it is to give him a long list of the "stupid" or "irresponsible" things that he has done. Keep reminding yourself that that will surely stop the discussion and send him packing . Let the child talk without being interrupted; he tells things from his point of view. (He must then listen to your opinion without interruption) Make this talk personal, as most ADDs respond to emotion rather than nagging. Keep your temper; if you have to "vent", run or swim it off, talk to another parent with similar concerns. Keep a journal: not anything fancy-just a tablet open at all times so you can just jot something down, date it and look at it later. Put down things that seem unfair or make life harder for your child or your family.
How Can We Prevent this from Happening Next Year?Resolve right now that by September of next year you will have a folder of information on your child for the teacher, principal, and other support people.There are no guarantees because a lot depends on the type of teacher, learning environment and expectations at the school. HOWEVER, going into the school year in September with the best information you can gather, is an excellent strategy for success. You are your child's main "case worker." Start collecting now!! Bring in this information early in the year. Make the sections short, concise, easy to read. You have all summer to work on it. This folder should contain:
A Student Study Meeting is a process where information is gathered, questions are posed about the student's abilities. Student needs and progress are explained, Brainstorming is done for strategies in the classroom and at home to help him succeed. Academic and psychological testing may or not be indicated, depending on the individual case.
Build up Your Child's Health.Investigate, read, research alternatives to drugs: dietary changes and/or vitamin therapy is one I strongly recommend and can give specific information on one that has proven results with many ADDs.
Find a Support Group.
Behavior Management, Reports from School:
By All Means, Do Not Give Up, or Lose Heart.By all means, do not give up, or lose heart. Hang in there another few days. You are a vital part of your child's success. He really relies on you, no matter what his behavior or words say. Just think, soon he'll be home for the summer!!
What is an Individual Educational Evaluation?This is a very individual evaluation that is different for each child. An Educational Therapist or Educational Psychologist can do it when they see the child in person at their office. If you are local (Santa Clara County in California), call my office at (408) 496-1660. If not, you can go to the website of the Association of Educational Therapists (AET@aol.com) to find one in your area. Also, you can go to a very helpful website PHP.com (Parents Helping Parents) and go to their national referral center to find similar resource centers near you You also have a legal right to request that the school and district do the evaluation, but sometimes because of the number of students and limited resources, this evaluation might not be done in as much depth as a private assessment. There are three areas which this evaluation should address:
I hope this is helpful to clarify this issue. Please do not mix up an Educational evaluation with an I.E.P. which is a legal document (Individualized Educational Plan) made up for children who qualify for special education)
For More InformationTo get an individualized educational evaluation, or more information about any of the resources mentioned above: email: improve_reading@hotmail.comphone: (408) 496-1660
A Closer Look, Educational Therapy |